Friday, December 19, 2008

Potty Mouth

Eliot's vocabulary is exploding. He is able to repeat nearly every word you can throw at him. Except Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I tried. He's saying things like 'cinnamon,' 'don't like it,' and 'please wash it'. He will even say, 'I'm mad,' before falling apart in a tantrum.

So of course, we have had to be a bit more careful when it comes to some of the more colorful language we like to use. And I'm sorry, but I really enjoy swearing. Yes, it is easy, and juvenile, and sometimes small-minded. But it is part of my vernacular, and I'm finding it somewhat difficult to completely drop it. And spelling things like, "D-a-m-m-i-t, I am so mother f-u-c-k-i-n-g p-i-s-s-e-d'ed," just doesn't have the same effect. So yes, Eliot has repeated some of the tougher words found in the English language. And yes, it was funny, but not something I would encourage.

But what's really funny are the unintentional mis-steps. Words like dump truck and sit are common examples of words children tend to mispronounce to hilarious effect. For Eliot, that word is popsicle, pronounced, Pop-asshole. Or more like POP-ASSHOLE! POP-ASSHOLE! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASE!

When we were in Pennsylvania, the only thing he would eat was popsicles due to his double ear /throat infection. If you are familiar with my sick child policy, you know that all bets are off when 104 degree temperatures start a raging, so I happily obliged all requests. And were there ever so many. Did I mention that my entire extended family of in-laws was present for Mr. Potty-Mouth's pop-asshole demands?

To top it all off, we call my grandfather Pop. And Pop is the king of the trash mouth. He uses the phrase 'son-of-a-bitch' as an exclamation (SON of a BITCH!), as a noun (He's a son of a bitch), an adjective (This son of a bitchin' stove), and a verb (I son of a bitched him). Pop is the king of the swear, and he taught us all quite well, so it is only fitting that his image is conjured up every time Eliot demands a frozen treat.

8 comments:

Lauren Snyder said...

oh Pop... I just love him. does he still chill out in that yucky old recliner? The one that everyone swore if you sat in it, you would fart. Because that's what Pop did... he would sit in his chair and fart. Didn't help that I was usually there for chili nights.

Elizabeth Fleming said...

Stop! You're killing me--this is hilarious. You need to write a book...

Heather said...

The recliner is gone. At least the yucky one with all the duct tape. He has a nicer, newer one. It helps cut down on the farts.

Emily said...

Hahahaahahahaahahah. Pop's many uses of son-of-a-bitch is very funny.

Lauren Snyder said...

Well I am glad that he has a nice new chair to sit in. And I am glad he has cut down on the farts too.

Allison said...

We must be related. My father can use the f-word in many, many, often surprising ways.
Your post brought back a lot of dysfunctional family memories. Thanks!

Did your Pop's language worsen if the task he was doing got harder? My dad started off with sonuvabitch, and worked up to cocksucker...also used as a verb, noun, adjective and sometimes an adveb.

jessica banks said...

did i ever mention my lowest point as a mom, the one involving "mother tractor?" yeah, remind me sometime....

Anonymous said...

When I was growing up my dad and aunt (being the oldest and youngest, respectively) had a pretty intense and playful rivalry. One year, my aunt taught her daughter to say "Asshole" instead of "Bob," which is my dad's name. What she failed to realize is that my dad is "Bob Jr." and when little Valerie called Grandpa an asshole all hell broke loose.

-- Travis