Father of the Year

Reason #1: Eliot's nose was dripping that clear, teething drip. Justin looked around for a suitable wiping material, and when none was available, he swiped that snot with his fingers and wiped it on his bare leg.

Me: "Would you do that for me?"
J: "Absolutely not."

Reason #2: After a particularly hairy diaper change, there were some poop bits remaining on the changing mat. Without even thinking, Justin picked them up with his bare fingers. Have you met Justin? I'm not allowed to wear my shoes in the house, and he's handling feces?

Me: "Those are poop bits. You just touched them."
J: "I know, weird."